you can buy this word on a t-shirt now, as third-wave feminism has fought to reclaim it - to mould it into something empowering. in some cases, this word is still a means to shame women for being sexually provocative - it’s being used both ways, and often the lines are getting blurred between whether its a strong or a weak identification, women use it to badmouth other women as much as men use it against them. i’ve been called it tons of times, both affectionately and unkindly. i’ve called myself it.
is it possible for women to reclaim our sexualities? THAT’S THE BIG QUESTION! (totally inspired by that ‘prickly muffin’ episode of bojack horseman but hey, it got me thinkin) it’s that subjective debate of body autonomy, and too often we like to umbrella-term what empowerment means - despite it being a hugely personal thing. some women are empowered in modesty, as others are empowered in nudity. the thing that makes it complex is that it suits into the pigeonholing of women into two broad categories - the angelic virgin type, and conversely the whore. you can spot that analogy in Romantic poetry too. it’s existed for a long while
women are putting ourselves into these boxes more willingly, taking control over how we are perceived instead of allowing others to decide it for us. we are trying to win back control, but not actually question the issue at hand. sexuality and power tend to link together - hence the cliches of sleeping your way to the top in business, the fact you can essentially tempt another person into desiring you - it makes you feel good, it makes you feel important. it just deepens that trench of physicality taking superiority over other traits. it would mean a thousand times more to me for someone to tell me i’m funny than it would for someone to tell me i have nice legs. however, i can’t deny that it makes me feel chuffed when people compliment my physical aspects too. everyone wants to look nice. it’s just part of being a human being - we’ve grown up to value praise on how we look, even though that’s something we don’t necessarily control. the whole thing is warped together, mixed and mushed until we don’t even really know what we want to hear any more.
when i put on a boob-y dress for a night out, am i doing it to pull, or because it makes me feel confident? does it make me feel confident because it makes me feel like i can pull? does it matter? sex fascinates us because it’s so animal. it’s exciting for the taboo, and for the rejection of the taboo.
and (to quote a cool wikipedia sentence that summed up my sentiments 1000x better than i could) is empowerment best measured as an "internal feeling of power and agency" or as an external "measure of power and control"?
make ur own minds up!!
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