comfort

during these surreal times, i’ve been taking a shower before i have dinner. because that’s what i associate with comfort, with being young, with sunday nights when i was 5 years old. i have been getting back into bed in the morning with a cup of fruit tea and the curtains open, trying to celebrate the fact that i don’t have anything to get up for. i have learnt to understand myself a lot better because i am understanding the things that soothe me when things are strange. i am learning that i love to follow schedules, and should write one out every morning while i eat my breakfast. i am learning to make my bed as soon as i get up. i am learning to sit on the front porch with the sun on my face every chance that i get.

i am relieved that i have fallen into drinking bucketloads of green tea instead of anything stronger. i am relieved that looking after myself is becoming instinctive.

i am most in love with about 10am, when i’ve had my breakfast and i make myself a cup of coffee. i open the window and - still in my pyjamas - curl up in my armchair with a blanket and load up animal crossing. i love this game so much because a team of people worked tirelessly to make something that is so gentle, and lovely. they took the time and the effort to animate the steam coming off the tiny cups of tea that the villagers drink, they wrote out reams of information of every bug, fish, fossil. there’s no POINT to the game, or time limit, or consequences - not really. the dumb little animals compliment you constantly, check that you’re getting enough sleep, ask you to run little errands and thank you for it earnestly. it’s a game that’s perfect in these times of needing comfort so desperately. maybe we all need comfort more than we let ourselves know. i’ve been wondering why i don’t treat myself this kindly all the time.