uni is over and i have a lot of directions i could be going. so many directions, in fact, that i’m a little bit stuck. i’ve spent a lot of my life aiming for something - somewhere to go next - always lining up my forthcoming options on a mental map of my future so when i’m asked, i can say with absolute certainty that i know what my aspirations are. i like to know what i want!
at the moment, i’m kind of enjoying exactly where i am. in a weird, liminal space of life right now, i have a pile of kitchenwares in my bedroom and a job that isn’t ever gonna be a career. but, i really love my job. and the malvern hills. i love where i am right now and i don’t want to take it for granted, but that said, i never want to end up stuck somewhere because i didn’t hop straight back into life after it calms down for a second.
i’m really indecisive! i’ve been applying for jobs, internships, and scrolling through japanese studies pre-masters because maybe that’s what i want. i don’t know what i want! i’m only writing this because i feel like i have to justify this moment of aimless contentment. i want to move to a city because i’ve never lived in a city before. but i’m kind of falling back in love with nature, and plants, and farms. i don’t want advice, i guess my life will find a way, but it’s fun to be in this moment that’s absolutely saturated with opportunity.
i’m lucky, and happy, and grateful.